With a Little Help From My Friends
by breezyme
Summary: Thomas DuTois and Jude Harrison were friends when they were kids, but were separated due to circumstances. Now, seven years later, he's producing her, and the past is coming back to bite them in the butt. AU of season 1.
1. Prologue

"Wait! You never told me where you're going!"

Tommy turned around. "I'm going to get started in the music business. And then when I'm big and famous and touring here, I'm going to come to your door with fifty A & R reps all begging to sign you." He sighed and walked back to his friend. "Now give me a hug." Jude, still crying, hugged a crying Tommy.

After a few moments, Tommy pried Jude's arms from around him, and, giving her one last kiss on the cheek, walked away.

--

"Hello Jude. You travel light. Your parents couldn't make it?" Georgia asked.

Jude stood up and shook hands with Georgia. "They could, I just wanted to do this on my own." Georgia smiled.

"Jude, there were some people in our contest… Eden, for example, who are in a better position to become a popstar," a short woman Jude recognized as EJ said.

"Well, I'm not a popstar. I'm a songwriter," Jude said.

"And that is why you won," Georgia said, interrupting an impending EJ comment. "I believe that your songs can move units but I also believe they can move people. And that is why we've teamed you with a writer/producer with real substance."

"Who?" Jude asked, eyes glistening with excitement. And then, from up above, she heard a familiar phrase.

"George and Ringo ate cheese." Jude looked surprised. She automatically responded with, "And John and Paul drank wine." She turned to the speaker and her jaw dropped. "Tommy?"

"In the flesh." She ran up the stairs and launched herself on him.

"Where the hell have you been for the past seven years?" she said, still hugging him. EJ and Georgia simply looked shell-shocked while Jude and Tommy's little reunion was gaining attention from the rest of the employees fast.

"I sold my soul to the devil for a chance to get my foot in the door," he said. "Ever heard of Tommy Quincy?"

She groaned. "Oh god no. _Please _don't tell me that was you all those years. Sadie _loves _Boyz Attack. And those songs…" she shuddered.

"Like I said, girl, I sold my soul to the devil." He finally released her from his bear hug. "So, looks like I get to produce my favorite girl. You still playing that Telly?"

"You bet your Gibson-loving ass I am. I've got two other guitars now, but I love my Telly."

Georgia cleared her throat, and the two looked down. "So, you know Tommy personally?"

"I don't know," Jude said, grinning. "I know Thomas DuTois, but I don't know a Tommy Quincy. Seriously, Tommy," Jude said, turning to him once again. "_Quincy?_ You just had to pick the last name of your junior high crush. Now _that's_ what I call pining after somebody." Georgia raised an eyebrow. Jude turned back to Georgia, pointing to Tommy and saying, "This here knucklehead was my next-door neighbor for… was it six years?"

"Six years we lived there, about two-and-a-half years we were friends. You really were the most outspoken five-year-old I've ever met," Tommy said, grinning.

"And you were the most jaded thirteen-year-old I've ever met," Jude retorted. "When did you start piling your hair with gel? I'm practically suffocating from the smell right now."

"Yeah, well when did you dye your hair red, blondie? And since when do you wear black, _ever?_"

"I hate to interrupt," Georgia said, still slightly shocked. EJ was still in total shock, mouth hanging open and everything. "We need to get started. You two can catch up later."

"C'mon girl. Let's hear what you've been writing for the past seven years." They walked to the studio, Georgia and a newly-composed EJ following behind.


	2. Chapter 1

"Whoa, wait, I recognize this song," Tommy interrupted the second verse of _24 Hours._ "I told you eight years ago, I tell you again, you need to pick up the tempo." He entered the booth and picked up Jude's acoustic. He doubled the tempo and told her to sing. It was already sounding better, Jude knew, and was about ready to let it go when Tommy stopped the song again and said. "These lyrics… '_We're _on the road, _we_ made it here…' Who's 'we'?"

"Does it matter?" Jude mumbled. "They're about a friend."

"We don't care about your friend Jude. Your song's too impersonal. The public wants to hear about _you _when they buy _your_ music."

"Great to know what you think of a strong friendship, Tommy! Although, as I remember it, you used to say friendship was the musician's greatest muse!" Jude yelled.

"And if you'll remember _correctly,_ the end of that phrase was 'Second only to one's self!'" Tommy yelled back.

"_Fine!_ You want personal, I'll give you personal!" She grabbed her Telly. "Georgia, turn this up _loud, _dammit! I want it to shake my bones!" She began with a faster tempo, and then sang, angrily. "_I'm sick of wishing you were near! You've gone your way you've made it clear!_" She stopped playing and glared, fuming at Tommy, who winced at the bite of her words.

"Um, that was good, Jude. Very personal." Georgia tried to interject and hopefully cool the argument while EJ was riveted to the spectacle in front of her.

"Do you remember this song, Tommy?" Jude whispered. She began playing the chords to _Skin_. "_Falling apart and all that I question, is this a dream or is this my lesson…_"

"_Oh, he's under my skin,_" Tommy sang softly. "Jude I know that-"

"Save it, _Thomas!_" Tommy winced once again.

"Guys!" Georgia yelled, finally deciding it was time to intervene. "Cool it. It's obvious you guys have some past issues; you need to leave them there. We need to work."

Tommy ignored her and continued to stare pleadingly at Jude. "I know I left at a bad time," Tommy said quietly. "I know you're mad at me for leaving you then, and then for not coming back. Jude, do you remember your present to me for my fifteenth birthday?" She looked up at him, nodding her head. "It was sort of about that whole… thing." Jude's eyes widened.

"You mean your-"

"Yeah," he cut her off glancing at Georgia. "Girl, we'll talk tonight. I'll explain everything, I promise." She bit her lip, and nodded. Tommy turned back to Georgia. "We're going to work on the lyrics for a bit, and then head out. We'll see you tomorrow." Georgia nodded, then turned, pulling a whining EJ along with her.

"Can't we watch for a little bit?" she pleaded. "Just a little bit?"

"No. You've got a guest artist visit to organize. We just got the rider in the mail today, and you are going to make sure we've got it all."

--

"Dad, we're home," Jude said, shutting the door behind Tommy and her.

"We?" Stuart Harrison asked, coming around the corner. He stopped when he saw Tommy. "Jude, what is your sister's wall poster doing in our entryway?"

"Oh, right, he's my producer. And we once knew him as Thomas DuTois." Stuart grinned.

"Tommy! I never did get to show you the chords to _Here Comes the Sun._" The two men shook hands, both grinning.

"Yeah, well, as soon as I knew I wasn't going to be getting anymore guitar lessons for you, I bought the official book of Beatles scores," Tommy admitted sheepishly. "But I never could get down the chord changes for _Hey Jude,_ so I'd love some help with that," Tommy said, winking at Jude. She laughed and Stuart grinned wider.

"Hey Dad, we're going to catch up. Call us down when dinner's ready," Jude said dragging Tommy up the stairs. "Oh, and you might want to warn Sadie!" Jude threw over her shoulder.

--

"So, I noticed your Mom wasn't there, and your Dad was," Tommy said once they were up in Jude's room.

"Nu uh, Tommy, you first. What happened? Why'd you leave?" Jude asked, her voice a mere whisper by the last sentence.

He cleared his throat. "So, if you'll remember correctly, the morning I turned fifteen, you walked in my front door, I assumed to surprise me, and saw my mom, umm…" Here he trailed off awkwardly.

"Beating you over a head with a pan," she finished for him.

"Yeah," he said. "That. Um, anyways, and then you… punched her and told me happy birthday."

"Yep," Jude said. She was not at all sorry for what she had done. Tommy was never without a bruise or two, and Jude hadn't known until that morning that his mother was the cause.

"And then she never beat me again," he said, smiling. "And for that, I will be forever thankful. Anyways, a couple of months later, she was yelling at me. You know, the usual, 'you're worthless, you're disgusting' stuff. Just her normal criticism. And then… she dropped the bomb." He took a deep breath and Jude looked at him. "She told me my father left _because _I was worthless." Jude's jaw dropped. Tommy's mother had always tried to drag him down, but Tommy had always held on to the hope that his father was somewhere in the world, missing him.

"Oh, Tommy," she breathed. She walked over to him and knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his knee. "You know that's not true."

"Yeah," he said, voice strained. "Anyways, so, I guess I felt like I had to… _do _something, you know? And I'm sorry I left, but it was all impulsive, and I wasn't running away from you, and I _was _going to come back for you… but Darius, my manager, never had our stupid 'band' tour in the French provinces. He thought the fan base wouldn't be big enough and-"

"Tommy, you're rambling," Jude smiled, voice sing-song-y. "I get it. That's done." She pressed her forehead to his and whispered, "You're mom's gone, your crappy pop music days are over and we're friends again. My dad _will _teach you _Here Comes the Sun,_ even though you already know it, and he'll show you how to do the F-chord wrong and you'll pretend he's right and _I'll_ be the only one with the guts to correct him… just like old times."

"Okay," he breathed and Jude got up and sat on the bed beside him. He turned his gaze to hers and said, "Okay, so what happened with _you?_"

"Well," Jude began, but was interrupted.

"Oh my god, is that Little Tommy Q?!" screeched the girly voice of Sadie Harrison.

--

**Haha, I looooove leaving you guys hanging. Yes, I'm evil at heart. But, you can guess away at what will happen, and who knows, maybe it will… **_**spooky.**_

**Anyways, I literally spent like half an hour researching the proper spelling for rider, cuz I wasn't sure if it was spelled weird or something. I know, I'm a nerd. Buuuuuuuuuuut… I'm a nerd who writes good stories. Remember that.**

**Really you guys, I was surprised by the response to the prologue, especially in such a short period of time. Thanks, and I hope this chapter didn't disappoint.**


	3. Chapter 2

"_Oh my god, is that Little Tommy Q?!" screeched the girly voice of Sadie Harrison._

"Hey, Sadie," Tommy said. "I-"

"Oh my god, you know my name! This is so awesome, Tom Quincy is here to see _me!_"

"Sadie-" Tommy tried again.

"So, I bet you could stay for dinner, and then we could maybe go to the movies or something-"

"SADIE!" Jude yelled. "Listen for five friggin seconds!" She gestured towards Tommy. "This is Thomas DuTois. Remember him? You know, the guy who was my best friend seven or so years ago?"

"Jude, are you blind? That is _so _Tom Quincy!" Sadie squealed.

"Sadie, ever heard of stage names?" Jude asked, sighing impatiently.

"Wait, you mean… THEY'RE THE SAME?!"

"Yes. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got seven years to catch up on…" Sadie ran out the door, blushing furiously. Jude shut the door behind her. "So, where were we?"

"When did Sadie become an airhead?" Tommy asked, amused.

"To her credit, she's only an airhead when in the presence of celebrities." Jude said. "So, where were we?"

"What happened after I left," Tommy said.

"Right," Jude sighed, deflating a little. "Well, as you know, my dad was cheating on my mom, so they got a divorce. Mom had kicked Dad out of the house, so Dad was just gone for a while. It turns out that Mom was out when you came to say goodbye." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Out on a date. With her divorce lawyer."

Tommy winced. "Oh," he said softly.

"Yeah. Well, in a nutshell, a month later Mom and Don, the lawyer, got married and left Sadie and I at home. We still haven't seen them since then."

Tommy's eyes widened. "Wait, you and Sadie were living home alone? You were _eight,_ and Sadie wasn't much older!"

Jude ignored him and just kept going. "Sadie and I were living at home for a month when Dad came over. Turns out, he was supposed to be able to see us, as agreed upon in the divorce, and Mom wasn't letting him. So, Dad turned up, pissed as hell, on our doorstep, to find Sadie and I out of food. He's been taking care of us ever since, and we've forgiven him for cheating."

"So, your mom just… left you guys at home? Just packed up and left?" Tommy asked, incredulous.

"Sadie won't even talk about her anymore. If she absolutely must utter her name, she calls her the Whore, not Mom." Jude bit her lip, and Tommy could tell there was something else she wanted to say.

"What is it?"

"Nothing important," she said. "So, anyways, Dad moved us as soon as he was sure nothing was tying me or Sadie there, so here we are." She gestured at their surroundings.

Tommy hugged her. "I'm sorry Jude."

"Me too," she said, starting to cry. "It sucked not having you around, Tommy. Sadie and I were desperate, but it was summer, and all of our other friends were either on vacation or lived too far away. We had nowhere to go."

"I'm sorry Jude," he repeated, not letting go of her. "I fucked up and I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she said, voice thick with tears. "And you didn't fuck up. You did exactly what you should've done." She just broke down then, bawling, and Tommy just held her. Finally, her dad came up.

"Hey guys, it's time for dinner," he said, staring at his daughter and her friend. Stuart had treated Tommy like his own, so he trusted him completely. "You gonna make it down?"

Jude wiped her eyes and smiled. "Yeah. Wouldn't miss crepes for the world."

--

About a month after Jude won Instant Star, she and Tommy had fallen asleep at the studio after a particularly long night. They were both lying on the couch, Jude splayed out on top of Tommy. Although some might look at this arrangement and find it odd, Tommy and Jude thought nothing of it. They had fallen asleep like this many times when they were kids.

Of course, G-Major was up and running, so the employees had all seen the scene, but no one had had the heart to wake them, and since it was a Saturday and Jude had no school, they didn't have to.

At least, no one did until Shay walked in.

He strutted in like he owned the place, posse and Georgia flanking him, and stopped when he saw the occupants of the couch. "Whoa," he said loudly. "Do I really see Tom Quincy sleeping with a girl _in the middle of the lobby?_ I didn't think you were that kind of boss, G."

Georgia resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and set to waking the two up. "Jude, Tom, wake up." Tommy started to stretch and Jude groaned, causing him to laugh.

"Girl, it's" –he checked his watch- "eight o'clock. Time to get up." She groaned again.

"She looks a little young for you, T," Shay said, staring at Jude. At Shay's comment Tommy frowned, and he snapped his head over to look at the source.

"Shay-Shay!" he said, surprised, Jude still half-asleep on top of him. "Good to see you." He suddenly remembered Shay's prior comment. "Get your mind out of the gutter, man."

"You're talking too loud," Jude complained.

Tommy chuckled and slid out from under her. He walked over to Hospitality, Shay following. "You see," he said, pouring two cups of coffee. "Jude and I were friends when we were little. We used to live in the same neighborhood." He walked back over to Jude and put one of the cups of black coffee underneath her nose. "Jude, if you want coffee, you have to get up."

"You're evil," she groaned. She attempted to hit him but ended up swatting at empty air. She eventually gave up, sighing, and sat up, eyes still half-closed. "Coffee," she demanded. He gave it to her, grinning.

"Well," Shay said, watching them. "A person who knows about Tom Quincy's past. Let me introduce myself…"

"My lips are _sealed,_" Jude said, perking up a bit after coffee. "He's got just as much blackmail on me as I've got on him."

"One thing?" Shay pleaded. "And I already know his real name."

She grinned. "Ah, but do you know how he chose his stage name?"

"No," he grinned. "Tell me."

"Nope. I just wanted to see if you knew," she said cheerfully. She took another sip of coffee and held out her hand. "Jude Harrison. You?"

"Shay," he said, surprised that she didn't recognize him.

"Shay who? I gave you a last name, so I get one too," Jude said. Shay's posse laughed.

"Shorty, I'm _the _Shay. S to the H to the A to the Y."

"Oh," she said, looking surprised. "Nice to meet you. Your music sucks." He gaped at her. "Well, actually, your first album was okay-ish, but your second one sucked ass."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. He turned away, no longer interested in her. "Georgia, who's my producer?"

"Well, we were thinking Tommy, but if you want to work with Greg again-"

"Hold up; _Tommy's_ producing?"

"What the hell do you think I've been doing since Boyz Attack?" he asked. "So, what do you say? Want to give it a go?"

"Sure. It's always nice to hang with old friends," Shay said.

"Wait! What the hell am I supposed to do?" Jude asked.

"Go work on that song in Studio C. We'll see if we can do our session later today," Tommy said.

"Did you call your parents?" Georgia asked. Jude winced slightly at the word 'parents' but only Tommy noticed. He gave her a sympathetic glance.

"I called last night," Jude said. "I said it was going to be a late night."

"And they were okay with that?" Georgia asked, shocked. Tommy and Jude looked at her as if she was mad.

"Of course. Tommy was there." Georgia still looked confused, so Jude continued. "Tommy and I had a lot of late nights when we were kids. As long as we were together, our parents were fine with us crashing together. There was an abandoned building a couple blocks away from my house where we'd work on music together."

"Ah, the good old days," Tommy said. Of course, neither would mention that Tommy's mom didn't give a shit what he did, and that they had often gone to the building, which they had named _Fatigue _for the many nights spent there, mainly when Tommy wanted to get away from his mom. They had found the building far enough into their friendship that Jude didn't question why _exactly _Tommy wanted to get away from his mom. For, Jude had known that Tommy was verbally abused on a daily basis, but not that he was _physically _abused. If she had known sooner, she would've gone after Tommy's mom a long time ago…

Georgia blinked a few more times before sighing. "I'm _still _not used to the idea that you two had a past. Tommy, Shay, get to work. Jude, you're welcome to go home if you want. We can call you back later."

"Nah. I'll just wait around in Studio C."

--

Jude strummed a chord on her acoustic, sighing in frustration once again. An hour she had been working on this song, and an hour she had been distracted by the loud, repetitive bass riff coming from Studio A, which was adjacent to the not-quite-soundproofed Studio C.

The song finished and she started the chord progression once again. About halfway through, the music started up again and Jude yelled "Screw it!" She turned on the amp and plugged it into her Telly, turning both amp and guitar up all the way, with a loud bass level. She started playing the chord progression, liking the rock vibe the heavy bass gave.

--

"That better be Jimmy Paige in there," Shay said on the other side of the wall.

"It's Jude," Tommy said. "I'll tell her to turn it down."

"No. I'll handle this. Turn the beat up!" After a cheer from his wingman, T Bone, Shay started free styling.

--

Jude grinned and stopped playing as the back beat drowned her guitar out once again. She turned the speaker towards the wall and put it up against the wall. She started playing once again.

--

Shay frowned when Jude stopped, thinking he had won too easily. He smiled when Jude started playing again, louder this time. He started up again.

"_Cute girl on the other side of the wall,_

_I love the way you move your body and if you fall…_"

--

Jude stood in Hospitality, pouring herself another cup of coffee after her bout with Shay. It had ended when Tommy turned the beat off, deciding the two artists had had enough fun.

T Bone approached, beckoning her to him. She walked over to him and looked at him questioningly.

"Shay wanted me to let you know that you two are on for dinner tonight," he said. "Pick you up at seven. Oh, and wear something fuchsia. He'd like that." T Bone walked back into the studio, and Jude put down her coffee cup and followed, stomping behind him angrily.

She pushed the door open and crossed her arms. "You had your _entourage _ask me out," she said angrily. The least he could do was ask himself.

"Wait, you asked her out?" Tommy said, looking none too happy.

"I thought you'd _like _to have a date with me. What's your problem, don't think you can handle the Big Shay?"

Jude rolled her eyes. "You think just because you are a famous rapper you can date whoever you want. Well, _newsflash!_ Not everyone likes your music, or your snobby attitude. Go fuck yourself." And then she stormed over to Studio C, picking up her coffee cup on the way. She could've sworn she heard Tommy mutter "that's my girl," before she left.

--

**Okay, so there was some Shay stuff in there, because **_**You Can't Always Get What You Want **_**is one of my favorite episodes of all time, but I hate Shay and the drama he caused, plus, I want this story to go in a different direction than that of the show. I think that's kind of appropriate to the plot, too, so, yeah… No Shay, no Eden. The runner-up for Instant Star was one very nice, but mediocre, Valerie Lars (a random, generic name I made up two seconds ago). Oh, and no Kat or Jamie. Jude and Sadie ended up being very good friends, after all that happened in that month they were alone- but more about that later… Sorry, but I don't think they'll fit in with the plot I have in mind. I'm going to try to work Jamie in later, but we'll see… Damn, I feel like I'm cutting corners, which seems so cheap… I hope you guys don't mind.**

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed.**

**Cheers,  
breezy**


	4. Chapter 3

The day after a disgruntled Shay left G-Major, Jude and Sadie sat in Jude's room, just as they did every year on August fifteenth, acknowledging the event that had occurred seven years ago.

"_Mom!" a happy, eight-year-old Jude yelled, running into the house and waving around a copy of Garbage's debut album. The CD store Jude usually went to had a "Birthday Bin" where they put CD's released on that day, from the current year and years past. "You've got to hear this song!"_

"_She's gone," a ten-year-old Sadie said in a small voice. Jude noticed tear tracks on her face. "She came back, got a suitcase full of clothes and didn't even say goodbye."_

_Jude's face fell. Her arms fell and the CD did too. "Stupid Girl," she whispered. "Should've known it was a sign."_

"Hey Jude," seventeen-year-old Sadie said. "You know that song you made when Dad cheated?" Jude nodded. "Could you play it again?" Jude nodded, knowing that it was their mom Sadie was mad at.

"_I drift away to a place another kind of life  
__Take away the pain I create my paradise  
__Everything I've held has hit the wall  
What used to be yours isn't yours at all_

_Falling apart and all that I'm asking  
Is it a crime, am I overreacting?_"

Jude decided to mess with the lyrics a bit.

"_Oh, she's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of it  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie_"

Sadie nodded in approval at the change, and Jude continued.

--

Though it was a Monday Jude had specifically demanded off, Jude ran into the studio, Sadie and a confused Tommy following behind.

"Jude, nice to see you," Georgia said. "This must be your sister-"

"We need a studio, now," Jude said, ignoring her comment.

"Jude," Georgia sighed. "You don't have a session, and we're booked right now."

"Kick them out. We need a studio," Jude said. Georgia looked at the fifteen-year-old, and saw a glazed look in her eye that said she was somewhere else at the moment. She sighed.

"I can get you half an hour," Georgia said, walking towards the Studio B. She opened the door. "Hey Kwest. Take a half hour break. You'll have your studio back then, whether they're finished or not," she said, gesturing towards Jude and Tommy, looking at them pointedly.

Kwest sighed. "I don't know what's going on man, but anytime you want to give me a sandwich break, you're welcome to. You're lucky I'm just mixing." He left the studio, heading towards Hospitality.

"Acoustic," Jude said as soon as he left. She turned to Sadie. "Original lyrics?"

"They rhyme better," Sadie said. "And people will think it's a break-up song." Jude nodded, and slipped into the booth, taking the acoustic out of its case.

Tommy stared at her, still confused. "What's so important?"

"_Skin _is what's so important Tommy. You ready?" His eyes widened, and he nodded, sitting in front of the soundboard.

"_Skin,_ take one on three…"

--

"…_I got a reason now to bury him alive!_" Jude was singing fiercely when Georgia entered a half hour later. Jude's voice softened. "_Another little white lie…_"

Georgia stood there, awed by the emotion in Jude's voice. Tommy looked up and noticed her. "Five minutes for mixing?" he pleaded.

Georgia nodded. "I'll go get EJ." She noticed Sadie sitting in the booth. How odd. Tom didn't usually let people who weren't recording into the booth. He said it ruined the sound.

Georgia came back five minutes later, EJ in tow. "Let's hear it," EJ snapped immediately, impatient with the interruption of her schedule. Tommy looked to Jude, who nodded, and then pressed play. EJ was as awed as Georgia by the end of the first chorus. Georgia was shocked to see Jude and Sadie holding each other and bawling as the song progressed. She was equally shocked when Tom went over to the chair where they sat and lifted them both into his lap, an arm around each, rubbing their backs soothingly.

Kwest came in just in time to hear the end. "Wow. Best progress ever made within a half hour." He turned and took in the two crying girls. "Oh."

Georgia, EJ and Kwest stood there, looking on in silence, for a few more moments. Finally, Sadie got it together first, and she sat up abruptly, carrying the still crying Jude. "She'll see you tomorrow," she said, and ran out the door, Tommy following, leaving many confused G-Major employees in their wake.

--

When the three got to the Harrison home, Sadie went up to her room, and called to see when their dad would be home. Tommy carried Jude up the stairs and into her room, and placed her on the bed. She wasn't crying anymore, she was just sitting silently, tear tracks adorning her face.

"You want to talk," he said. "Because I know you Girl, and it's not your dad you're mad at."

Jude nodded. "After my mom left, it got bad enough that Sadie started considering prostitution, thinking it was the only way she could make money. She was only ten…" Tommy's eyes widened. "I managed to convince her not to, but that month was tough. That's the main reason why Sadie won't call her Mom. I don't blame her…"

Tommy's grip on Jude tightened, and his eyes narrowed in anger. "Your mom… she's not a mother," he said tersely. "She's… a heartless opportunist, who doesn't care about anybody. I can't _believe…_"

"Can't believe what?" Jude asked, biting her nail. Tommy got even angrier when he remembered that Jude would only do that when she was nervous as hell… or really, _really _depressed.

"About a week before my fifteenth. She caught my mom beating me, but she didn't stop it. She took me over to your house afterwards and nursed my wounds, though. She _promised _she'd do something about it. She promised she'd make her _stop,_" he said, voice no longer tight, but soft, rueful.

Jude laughed bitterly. "Yeah, well it looks like no one can trust mothers. The dads may cheat and leave the child with the mom, but the moms either beat their kids or leave them with _nobody._"

For many hours after that, Jude and Tommy sat, holding each other, stewing in silence. At one point, Sadie joined them. She said nothing, just walked in and lied in their laps, staring at the wall.

--

Friday of that week, Jude returned from a bathroom break to find Tommy gone. "Where'd Tommy go?" she asked Kwest. "I thought he wanted to do another take before we left."

Kwest turned to her. "He said we were finished today, because he needed to go get lamb chops for dinner." Jude's face turned into an angry snarl. She cursed. "What?" Kwest said.

"Tommy _hates _lamb chops, you _idiot!_" Jude yelled. Kwest looked taken aback.

"So?"

"His mom _loves _them!"

--

**Oooooooo, another cliffie-ish thing.**

**Oh, so this story is now officially my most-reviewed story. You guys rule!**


	5. Chapter 4

"Jude Harrison, how nice to see you! My, my, how you've grown!" said Ellen DuTois. Jude kept her face blank, although her voice gave away her anger.

"Ellen, how nice to see you. I need to see Tommy." She pushed passed Ellen and into the house.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Jude. Thomas is sick, he can't have visitors right now," she said, a frown on her face that looked so false Jude could've slapped it off.

"Well, I'll be seeing him anyways. Is he in his room?" Jude asked, turning away from Ellen.

"Yes," Ellen said. "I'm just going to get some water from the kitchen, and then I'll be right up." Ellen walked straight and Jude ran right and up the stairs. When she reached Tommy's room, she threw open the door, not hearing the footsteps behind her.

"Tommy!" Jude gasped when she took in his appearance. "What happened?" He was bruised and had his hands and feet bound. Wait, bound? "Tommy, did your mom-?"

"Jude, watch out!" he yelled. But it was no use. Ellen jumped onto Jude's back and pressed her face into the floor. Jude struggled until she felt a knife slice a thin cut into the back of her neck. She stopped struggling and tried not to cry as she sat there hopelessly while Ellen bound her feet and hands. When she was finished she jumped off Jude's back and dusted off her hands, as if she'd just been shepherding a particularly fiesty dog.

"I'll be right back," Ellen said. She smiled a crazy smile. She wiggled her finger, mockingly. "Don't move."

"Jude!" Tommy said as soon as his mom left. "Jude, why did you come? Now you're in trouble too!" He tried to stand up, but failed, and instead had to do some demented sort of hobble until he had his arms threaded around her neck. It was a pathetic sort of embrace and only made Jude feel more hopeless. "I'm so sorry Jude," he said.

"'s not your fault," she sniffled. "Do you think you could get your arm off my neck? Your mom cut me there." He winced and complied.

"I'm sorry Jude," he repeated, looking even sadder than before. Before Jude could respond, his mom came in, a bag of white powder in one hand, a bucket in the other.

"Well Jude, looks like Tommy might live a little longer than we thought," she said pleasantly, as if she were talking about the weather. She walked over to him and lifted his chin, forcing it to stay up when he tried to pull away. "You always did admire Kurt Cobain," she whispered, examining his features. "Now you've got a Courtney Love to complete the reenactment." Jude paled. She couldn't possibly mean-

Ellen poured the contents of the bag into a syringe, and Jude felt sick to her stomach. She was going to reenact the January 12, 1992 overdose of Kurt Cobain, and Jude was going to have to revive him- that much was obvious by Ellen's Courtney Love reference.

Jude watched as Tommy pulled away when Ellen tried to tie some surgical tubing around his arm. "Now, now, _Thomas-"_ Jude winced, remembering why Tommy had been hurt when she used that the first day in the studio "-take your medicine." She finally succeeded in tying the tube around his bicep, and Jude screamed when she injected the heroin into his arm. When she was done, Ellen walked over to Jude and slapped her across the face. Jude started crying again, only to be punched in the stomach by Ellen, knocking the wind out of her.

Soon, Tommy turned the same sickly aqua-green hue that Kurt had, and Ellen came over and undid the bindings on Jude's hands, but not her feet. She laughed as Jude hobbled pathetically over to Tommy and started desperately trying to resuscitate him. She beat his chest with all her might, attempting to get his stiffened heart to beat underneath his stiffened muscles. She started crying again when she finally heard him gasp, and she kept performing CPR until he started to regain some color. When he was fully normal, sitting up and higher than a kite, she hugged him. In his drug-induced state he just sat there and didn't hug her back, making Jude cry harder. Ellen laughed before leaving, throwing an "I'll be back with more tools in when he's normal," over her shoulder.

Jude kept hugging Tommy as he gradually came off his high. Slowly, lethargically, he hugged back. When he was present enough to start crying, Jude crawled over to the knife Ellen had left in the room. The stupid psychopath had left her a weapon, and Jude thanked all the entities of the world for this lapse of judgment. She cut off the bindings on her feet and stood up. "I'll stand behind the door. When she closes the door, distract her if you can, just long enough for me to get her." Tommy eyed the knife before nodding. Jude walked behind the door.

Five minutes later, the door opened and shut and Tommy start bawling and talking without making any sense, which was irritating his mom. Jude quickly lunged forward, grabbing Ellen's shoulders and pulling her back. "Bitch," was the only word she whispered before she stabbed her jugular, effectively ending the life of Ellen DuTois forever. Without a word she cut Tommy's bindings, fast, and threw the knife over to the side of the room. She and Tommy embraced fiercely, tears spilling out of their eyes.

Jude don't know how it happened, but one minute she and Tommy were hugging, and the next their passion had evolved into kissing. It wasn't tame but risqué, and soon Tommy and her were on the floor…

--

Jude dressed in silence while Tommy did the same, turned away. When she finished she faced the wall. She turned around when Tommy stopped moving.

"No one knows," she said.

"Agreed." They walked downstairs to the kitchen, Jude sitting down while Tommy called the police.

When he hung up, Jude said "You think they'll just think the extra blood is from when I got cut?"

"Yeah," he said. That was the last time Jude and Tommy spoke to each other until the police arrived.

--

"Jude!" Sadie screamed, running through the crowd of reporters and citizens, Stuart following behind. She ran up to the police tape, where and officer told her to stop. "That's my sister!" Sadie shouted, face turning dangerously red.

"Sadie, Dad!" Jude yelled. "Let them through!" Sadie and Stuart ducked under the tape and then ran up and embraced Jude. Her father moved on to Tommy, standing with him, while Sadie just hugged Jude and cried.

--

The next day, everyone at the studio looked shocked when they came in. Georgia quickly intercepted them.

"Jude, Tom, what are you doing here?"

"What do you think we're doing here?" Jude retorted angrily. "I've got an album to record. We'll take Studio C if we have to."

"Studio A's open, but don't you want to take a few days off?"

"No," Jude snapped. "Tommy, see if you can find Kwest. If not we'll work without him." Tommy nodded and walked towards Hospitality before Jude took her Telly from him. With her acoustic on her back, Jude walked into the sound booth and sat on the floor, taking out her journal and scribbling furiously.

--

**Well, I've been waiting for this chapter since I **_**started **_**this fic. So, anyways, where I learned about the Kurt Cobain overdose was in this amazing biography I'm reading on him, called ****Heavier Than Heaven****, by Charles Cross. It's really well written; I highly recommend it.**


	6. Chapter 5

When Jude came storming into the studio, Georgia had been expecting something raw, something sad or angry or scared. Instead she got _Temporary Insanity._

"_Losing my mind, losing my mind, losing my mind…_" Jude sang while Georgia looked on in shock. The girl was in papers in Canada _and _the States because she was held hostage along with Tommy Quincy, and _this _was what she wanted to sing about?

As Jude let out the last "da" EJ frowned. She spoke over the ending of the song, succeeding in annoying Tom and Jude further than she would with her next comment alone. "It's good, could be a hit, but we can't release it as a single, not yet at least. Jude, we need something… angry. After an incident like yours angry rocker chick sells."

Tommy clenched his fists around the arms of his chair and held back. Jude, however, _never _held back. "You know what EJ, I can't force out the songs you want. _I am not a jukebox._ You take what you get or you fire me, and either way it is of no consequence to me, because to some of us this is about the music, not the money, and you'd do well to remember that!" Tommy put a hand on her arm, trying to calm her down. Jude slapped it away. "Sadie's picking me up in five. You can do the final mix by yourself, although you might be able to convince Kwest to come in and help." She picked up her coat and walked out.

Tommy turned to EJ, eyes blazing. "She's right, EJ, the money doesn't mean shit. You can't expect Jude to commercialize herself. She's not just some bimbo pop star!" As he turned to leave, EJ said something that made Tommy have to stop and calm himself.

"Is that why you haven't slept with her yet?" she asked bitterly. "Is that why she's not wrapped around a tree, like Angie? You remember Angie, right Tommy? My best friend, the only woman you've ever loved, who you abandoned for a solo career that flopped?"

"You have _no_ right!" Tommy yelled. He opened his mouth to yell at her again but stopped. "You're not worth it," he muttered, and ran outside to find Jude.

He found her in the alley, sitting on a dumpster. He quietly walked up and sat down on the ground, facing her. "I suppose we need to talk."

"EJ's a bitch, so what?" Jude said, chewing a hangnail.

He chuckled. "Well, yes, that's true, but I meant the song. We need to talk about that."

"Oh, that," Jude said, quietly. She clicked her heels together a few times with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Well, I suppose it's pretty obvious that I'm feeling a little confused. I just need the song to relieve that confusion. You know, figure my feelings out."

"And?" he asked.

"I'll get back to you," she said, smiling wryly. He smiled back.

"If it's of any consolation to you, I'm equally confused," he said.

"Well then-" Jude paused, staring at the wall "-I guess we'll just have to ignore it until at least _one _of us figures it all out."

"Fair enough."

--

"Are you Jude Harrison?" asked a boy. Jude turned to look at him; he looked to be about her age. His half emo, half dork look also seemed familiar.

"Yeah. Hey, aren't you in my English class? Jamie Andrews, right?" He nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, that's me!" He dug around in his pocket. "I absolutely _love _the stuff you did on Instant Star- you're songwriting is like… like as good as a rare Nirvana bootleg!" Jude smiled. He finally found what he was looking for. "I was going to give this to you anyways," he said, handing her a strung guitar pick. "It's Joe Strummer's."

"Really?" Jude asked, shocked. "I mean, are you serious? That's so awesome!" She bit her lip. "I couldn't- I don't even know you."

"Hey, you're going to be a famous rock star soon; people are going to give you all kinds of shit. Get used to it." She glared at him.

"A Joe Strummer relic is not shit. It's, well… _a relic._" He grinned.

"Glad to see you have a taste for good music. Most people our age just like boy band pop and crap." She grinned, and it lit her whole face up. This guy was just what she needed to cheer her up; he hated boy bands and he hadn't once mentioned her encounter with Tommy's mother, which he _must _know about, considering her face was plastered over every Canadian paper's front page. "I've gotta go," he said, sighing. He'd been enjoying this meeting with his semi-new musical idol.

"Wait up!" she said. "You have second lunch?"

"Yeah," he said, stopping.

"Great!" If it was at all possible, her smile got brighter. "Let's talk tomorrow over lunch."

"That would be amazing!" he said. "I've got so much to ask you and-"

She laughed. "Save it for tomorrow. See ya!" They both parted.

--

That Friday, Jude and Jamie were having dinner when her dad called. "One sec," she said, flipping her phone open. "Dad? Hey."

"Hi Honey. Tommy called; he wants me to let you know that you guys have a session at four tomorrow."

"Sorry Dad, no can do. Jamie and I are out and he wants to show me this cool little shop over in Manitoba-"

"Manitoba! Jude, how the hell are you guys going to get over there? Does Jamie have a license? Is he older than you? How much older?"

"Dad, it's fine, we're taking the bus, and it's just over the border. I also left you a note; check the fridge."

Jude heard footsteps and then; "Oh, okay. But Jude, you should tell me before you make a weekend trip." He sighed. "You know I think it's a good thing you're making friends with people your own age, but you haven't been into the studio since the day after the… thing."

"Dad, it's cool, just tell Tommy I'm… mulling it over." Avoiding him is more like it.

He sighed. "Fine, Jude, I'll tell him, but if he barges into your hotel room in the middle of the night demanding you come back…"

"Then I left without your permission. Got it." She shut her phone and turned to Jamie. "I forgot to tell you, we're going to Manitoba, so call your mom. Don't worry, I've got money for bus tickets and stuff."

"What the hell are we going to do in Manitoba?"

"Just look around and… generally be away from Toronto."

"Why don't you want to go in the studio?" he asked curiously. "You said you love the studio."

"I do, I'm just sort of… avoiding somebody right now." She bit her nails, her expression tense.

"It's EJ, I bet. She sounds like a bitch," Jamie said, laughing. Jude joined him, and her face relaxed.

**So I finally got to work Jamie in. Yay! Although, you might not like him so much next chapter. Maybe you will, I don't know. I guess it depends on how… um, liberal(?) you are…**


	7. Chapter 6

Jamie woke up in an unfamiliar room, alone. His head hurt like hell as he desperately tried to remember the previous night.

_Okay, start from the beginning. Had lunch with Jude, drove to Manitoba… wait, why'd we drive to Manitoba? That's right, she was avoiding somebody at G Major. Drove to Manitoba, checked into a hotel- _he glanced at his surroundings- _this hotel,… and then what?_

Jamie looked more closely at the room. He walked up to the windows and opened the curtains. The light initiated a blinding pain in his head, and he quickly closed the curtains again. _Right, we went to a bar… after we bought fake ID's. Wait, holy shit, I bought a fake ID!_ After a few calming breaths, Jamie looked for Jude. There was no sign of her in the other bed, or the bathroom. _Oh my god, I lost Jude Harrison. I am going to be murdered by her dad, and then brought back to life and murdered again by her producer. I-_

There was a thump in the hallway, and then… "Jamie?" someone slurred, loudly. "Jamie, the walls don't look right. And I think my legs don't work. Hey Jamie, have you ever thought about legs before? They're so… awesome." Jamie rushed towards the door. _This can _not_ be good. She sounds…high_. "I mean, they hold you up, right? But it's _so _much harder to stand on your arms." Jamie opened the door and saw Jude, clearly high, staring at a ceiling light. He picked her up and brought her inside.

"Jude, what did you have?" he whispered.

"A few too many drinks, I think." Her eyes widened. "It's true, what they say. I was a poet, and I didn't even know it!" She giggled. "And, when I was walking home from the store, there was this man. He was nice! Really, really nice. He said that he knew somebody who had something that would make me _feel._ It sounded like the perfect way to be to make music! So perfect, Jamie." She sat up and turned to him. "I forgot the vodka."

"What?" Jamie asked.

"The vodka. Remember, we got back to the hotel, and I went out for vodka. I was walking home from the liquor store." Jamie faintly remembered this, and nodded.

"What happened next?" he asked. He had to figure out what they had given her.

"The man brought me to his house. There was another man -his son, I think- and he gave me a pill. I told him, 'no sir, I don't do drugs!' but he insisted that anything that made you feel so _wonderful _couldn't be harmful." She stood up and walked to the window, opening the curtains. "We made love Jamie –the son and I, not the old man- and it was wonderful. It was so… intimate." Jamie's eyes widened. Ecstasy, they must've given her ecstasy.

Jude turned to Jamie, and stared at him intensely. "I wonder what it would be like with _you._" She came up to him and traced a finger down his chest, and Jamie's eyes widened. "I wonder…"

Jamie felt so guilty about what happened next, but it was _Jude._ He'd had a crush on her ever since he heard 24 Hours. How was he supposed to stop himself?

--

Jamie awoke once again, an obviously sober Jude coming in the door. "Dude, you slept for, like, ten hours," Jude said.

"Jude…" Jamie trailed off awkwardly, not sure what to say.

"Jamie, it's fine, just forget about it." At those words, Jamie felt both relief and hurt. To her, he was forgettable.

"Pack up," Jude said, walking over to her suitcase and grabbing some new clothes. "We check out tomorrow morning."

--

Jude was glad Jamie hadn't asked where she had been for the ten hours he had been asleep. She didn't know if she'd be able to lie to him.

The man had been all too happy to sell her some more ecstasy and give her the number of a guy he knew in Toronto.

Jude knew it was illegal, of course, and yes, it's supposed to be bad for you, blah, blah, blah… But this was perfect. It was the exact escape she'd been looking for.

--

"Jude!" someone roared as soon as she pulled into the driveway. Jude winced at the familiar voice of her producer, one Tommy DuTois… Quincy.

"Hey Tommy," Jude said happily, smiling. And for once, Jude really was happy to see Tommy. Her experience over the weekend had convinced her to just let everything flow nicely. Life was a river, and who was she to stop it's course?

"Jude, what the hell! You can't just cancel sessions like that. They have to be booked in advance, and they have to line up with _my _schedule and _Kwest's _schedule and-"

"I'm sorry Tommy, I just forgot. Jamie and I went to Manitoba over the weekend." Tommy frowned. He felt as if he was slowly being replaced by Jamie as Jude's best friend. "Besides, I wrote a new song…" She smiled, and he grinned back.

"That's great Jude. Hop in, we've got a session later today anyways."

--

"Try it again, Jude, but do 'let me breathe' instead of 'let me be.'" Jude nodded, and Tommy started counting down from three.

"Wow," Georgia said when Jude finished the first chorus. "She just took your suggestion. She didn't fight for it or anything."

"I know," Tommy said quietly. He paused. "I'm worried, G. Jude just isn't like this, normally. She isn't so… bland. She's usually full of passion and… music. She can't nail a take because she's not pouring her energy into it. I just don't get it, G."

"Maybe _Temporary Insanity_ wore her out for a bit, passion-wise. Maybe she needs a break. After all, she's an amateur artist."

"Jude never runs out of passion, G. It's just not… Jude."

"Tom, I hate to say this, but you knew Jude _seven years ago._ Maybe she's changed." Georgia patted his back once before heading towards the door. "Just give her time, Tom."

--

When Jude got home, she raced upstairs. Sadie and Dad weren't home, which meant she could go to her spot.

When she got to her room, Jude grabbed an extra coat; her spot was cold. Before leaving she stuffed the bag of pills in her coat pocket and slapped a note on the fridge.

_Going hiking with Jamie. Going to be out of cell service._

_-Jude_

Of course, Jamie had absolutely no idea where she was going, or what she was doing, and she wasn't about to tell him so he could cover for her. As he and Jude were riding the bus back home, he'd turned to her and made her promise she'd never take anything again. She'd smiled and lied through her teeth, and Jamie had fallen for it.

--

**Ahem, so, two camps… those who totally hate Jamie for taking advantage of Jude and those who, well, **_**don't.**_** I'm still not sure which camp I'm in.**

**I totally love Jamie, though. He's awesome.**

**Wow, this fic went from really light (as was originally intended), to really heavy. Oh, and no worries, it's going to go back again.**


	8. Chapter 7

"Jude, there's going to be this awesome concert tonight, and I think I _might _be able to get us tickets-"

"Jamie, that sounds awesome, really, but I can't. Dad and Sadie are going to be gone for the weekend, and they want me to stay home and study." Not a lie. "They're worried because even my English grades are falling." Because she'd been falling asleep in class for the past two months. But still, not a lie.

"Since when do you stay home from an awesome concert because your parents said so?" Jamie asked.

"Since always." A lie.

He sighed. "Okay Jude, I'll see you Monday."

"Jamie, wait!" Jude said, feeling guilty. She hadn't been spending much time with Jamie. But then again, she hadn't been spending much time at the studio, either.

"What?"

"Well, you know next Friday's my birthday…"

"Yeah?" he said. "You want to go bowling or something?"

"No!" Jude yelled. "Sorry, I do _not _do bowling. Not since that time in sixth grade where my fingers almost had to be _forcibly _detached from the ball."

"Ouch," he said. "That sounds bad."

"Yeah. But anyways, G Major's throwing me a party… some semi-big thing with record execs and crap. Would you like to come? You know, keep me sane through having to talk to all those stuffy suits?"

"Hell yeah!" Jamie said, sounding excited. Jude smiled; it was always good to make Jamie happy.

"Great! So we'll talk about it Monday?"

"Sure! Thanks, Jude."

"I should be thanking _you_, Jamie." Jude sighed in relief and collapsed on the couch after Jamie hung up. It had been getting harder and harder to keep up her friendship with Jamie. Between the studio and her… other habit, she'd barely had time for Jamie. But Jamie was a great friend, and she could afford to lose Jamie, since she was still in that semi-awkward, undefined relationship with Tommy.

Jude refused to mull over Tommy, though.

Steeling her reserve, Jude grabbed her warmest coat, and felt the bag of pills in her pocket. Jude's finger also came in contact with the piece of paper the dealer had slipped her with her last batch of pills.

"_You'll like this, sweetheart," he said, handing her a piece of paper._

"_What is it?" Jude pocketed the pills, but not the paper._

"_It's free, that's what it is."_

"_And?"_

"_And it's something new. It'll make the world come alive before your very eyes."_

_Jude glanced at the paper. "This thing."_

"_Yep. LSD."_

_Jude considered it, and then pocketed the paper. "Okay."_

--

Tommy was worried. Jude hadn't come in for the past three days, and her father hadn't been the one to call. It had just been Jude. But _no one _had called in yet today.

Tommy took out his phone and dialed Jude's number.

"Tommy!" she answered happily. More happily than she had in… two months. Ever since she got back from Manitoba. Tommy was going to have a talk with Jamie later.

"You coming in today, Girl?"

"Nope," she said. She made that popping noise some people make when they say their p's. Jude normally wasn't one of those people.

"How're your dad and Sadie?"

"Fine. Still held up at the airport." So that's why Stuart hadn't called. Tommy sighed in relief. "Oh Tommy, I've been thinking, would my room look better with lots of bright colors on the walls? I think it would be beautiful. I can see it now!"

"I'm sure you can, Jude," Tommy said, smiling. "It's the same thing with your music."

"No, Tommy, I can really _see _it! I'm seeing it right now!" Tommy just chuckled.

"See you tomorrow, Jude."

"Bye Tommy!" she said cheerfully. Tommy grinned. It had taken two months, but it seemed like his Jude was finally back.

--

Tommy checked his watch and tapped his foot impatiently. "Where is she?" he asked Georgia. They'd been standing in the ally, in the cold December weather, for almost two hours, waiting for Jude to show up at her own party. They still had to get her in her dress, and there was no sign of her.

"I don't know," Georgia said, just as EJ came out.

"Georgia, the guests are getting antsy. This party was supposed to start an hour ago."

"She'll come," Georgia said. A teenager in a black hoody and torn jeans walked towards them. "Can we help you?" Georgia asked.

"Georgia!" she said cheerfully, throwing down her hood. "It's me, Juuuuuuuuuuuude! Since when are your clothes so… bright. They've got a swiiiiirly on them." Georgia glanced down at her black blazer and black skirt with concern.

"Jude, where the hell have you been?! You were supposed to be here two hours ago!"

"Oh, Tommy, don't spoil my fun, you silly goose. Let's just sit down! It's not every day you see walls breathing!" Tommy's face paled.

Breathing walls.

"Georgia, she's high," Tommy whispered. EJ hurried inside, and Georgia's eyes widened.

"You don't think?"

"Jude!" Tommy said, loudly. "Jude, you seem… happy."

"'Everybody's happy with LSD!' That's what Mr. Benter said! He was right! This is better than the old stuff. Way better."

"Mr. Benter?" Tommy asked.

"Sit down, Tommy! Watch the walls! They're so… _alive._"

Tommy sat down next to Jude and stared at the cold, dead brick wall. "Who's Mr. Benter, Jude?"

"He's my friend! My absolute, bestest friend! Don't get me wrong Tommy, you're great, but Mr. Benter is right. Always right! He said LSD is _waaaaaaaaaay _better than E, and he said that it would make the world _come alive!_ It did, Tommy." Tommy picked Jude up.

"I'll take her home, Georgia. Let me talk to her when she's sober. I'll call you tomorrow, we'll see what we can work out for her." Georgia nodded, and went back inside.

"Let's go, Jude."

"But the walls are breathing!"

"I bet they'll be breathing at home, too," Tommy muttered. He held her tighter, and carried her to his car.

--

Jude had fallen asleep a couple hours after Tommy had brought her home. Tommy had sat with her head in his lap, staring at the wall, while she slept.

_Why would Jude do this? It's just… it's not her._

--

Jude blinked, and found that she was sober. _This sucks, _she thought. Her hand reached into her hoodie pocket, looking for the piece of blotter paper, or a leftover tablet of E, or _something._

"If you're looking for your drugs, you won't find them," Tommy said. "I took them all and gave them to Georgia. She's going to give them to the police and say she found them on the street."

"You did what!" Jude shouted. "You took away my _one escape! _You-!"

"Why, Jude? I thought you could tell me _anything._ We made that pact, remember. Anything."

"You took my drugs!" Jude yelled, hysterical.

"JUDE!" Tommy yelled back. She quieted. "Why?" This time, tears came to his eyes. "Just why would you even _think _about it?"

Jude bit her lip. She could tell Tommy anything, right? So maybe she could tell him this. Maybe… she could let it go.

Jude broke down into tears and told Tommy all about Manitoba, and about what had happened since then. When she was done, Tommy had stopped crying, and he glared at her. His anger couldn't mask his anguish, however.

"Why?"

"Because, I didn't know how I felt, and I didn't want to think about how I felt. I wanted to go away."

Tommy's gut clenched. "So this is my fault." Jude didn't say anything; she just looked away.

"I still don't know how I feel."

"Well you can figure it out in rehab," Tommy said.

"WHAT?!"

"If you really think I'm going to let you keep this secret, you're mad. You're going to rehab."


	9. Chapter 8

**Oh, I keep forgetting to say, the only things I know about drugs are from Wikipedia and ****Go Ask Alice****¸ so if I get stuff wrong… sorry. I'm not exactly an expert :shrugs:**

Jude sat, twiddling her thumbs, waiting for the verdict. She'd been in rehab for a month, and her only visitors, Sadie and her Dad, hadn't told her what was going on in the outside world.

Her Dad, when he came, wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise. He babbled on and on and on, and Jude knew it was because he was afraid that he'd blow up at her. She knew he was disappointed in her.

Sadie, who came more frequently, consistently refused to bring her newspapers or even tabloids. The only piece of information she'd gotten was when she'd asked if Jamie or Tommy were coming. Sadie had said that only family were allowed.

Jude wasn't even allowed her guitar.

--

When Jude got home, finally _home_, she grinned like a lunatic and ran upstairs, laughing. When she got up to her room, she saw her Telly, and her heart swelled with happiness. With a newfound feeling of love in her heart, Jude picked up her guitar, and wrote another song.

--

"_I'm in love with my guitar,_" Jude finished, just as her dad appeared in her doorway.

"Figures that the first song you'd write after a month away would be about that thing," her dad said. He smiled, and Jude knew, just like that, that she was forgiven.

--

For the next week, Jude went to school, ignoring the stares sent her way.

She tried calling Jamie, several times, but he wouldn't answer.

She did all the grocery shopping, all the cooking, a feeling of goodwill ever present in her heart.

And through it all, she never once let go of her Telly.

--

After a week, Georgia called.

"Jude, we want you back in the studio," she said. She sounded hesitant. "If that's okay."

Jude laughed. Georgia was so amazed by the sound, and she realized that it was the first time she'd heard Jude laugh since before she had started using drugs.

"Georgia, I'm fine. I'm not glass, I won't break. _Let me rise, let me fall…_" she sang softly. But this time, the lyrics held that passion, that essence of Jude, that they hadn't the first time she'd sang the song. Georgia grinned.

"Alright, but EJ's going to want to talk to you." Jude laughed again.

"I can handle EJ, just make sure I get some studio time, too."

--

Jude opened the doors of G Major, and was met with silence.

And stares.

Stares of pity, stares of disgust.

Stares of curiosity, stares of empathy.

But none were emanating from the face she was looking for.

When the face did appear, it wasn't staring. It was grinning like a madman.

Tommy ran towards her. "Jude!"

And, for the first time in a week, Jude dropped her Telly, and hugged him back.

--

As soon as an intern had come into Georgia's office and said that Jude was here, EJ had stormed downstairs, ready to tell Jude off for the biggest PR disaster a G Major employee had ever had.

She was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Tommy and Jude, embracing fiercely, Telly lying forgotten at Jude's feet.

--

Jude began crying silently, and she soon felt Tommy's tears mixing with her own. She inhaled his scent, memorizing him.

She still didn't know how she felt, but at that moment, she wasn't going to linger over it.

She did know that here, in Tommy's arms, she felt completely safe, and whole.

--

That day, Jude and Tommy recorded _I'm In Love With My Guitar _and _Let Me Fall_.

And then, EJ came in.

"Jude, we need to talk," she said tightly. She was obviously extremely mad. She turned to glare at Tommy. "Alone."

"Nope," he said cheerily. "I'm staying with Jude."

"Fine," EJ said. Jude sent Tommy a grateful glance.

For the next hour or so, EJ yelled at Jude. When she was done, Jude and Tommy drove home.

Jude didn't feel so happy anymore.

--

"She was right, Tommy, I was stupid."

He sat down on her bed and pulled her into his lap. "Yeah, but that's my fault."

"Tommy, don't say that! I was a stupid, stupid girl." Jude flashbacked to the day her mother had left.

"_Mom!" a happy, eight-year-old Jude yelled, running into the house and waving around a copy of Garbage's debut album. The CD store Jude usually went to had a "Birthday Bin" where they put CD's released on that day, from the current year and years past. "You've got to hear this song!"_

"_She's gone," a ten-year-old Sadie said in a small voice. Jude noticed tear tracks on her face. "She came back, got a suitcase full of clothes and didn't even say goodbye."_

_Jude's face fell. Her arms fell and the CD did too. "Stupid Girl," she whispered. "Should've known it was a sign."_

"Jude, everyone does stupid things. You want to know how you make up for it?" She nodded. "You write _one song _about your pain, and then you move on and show the world that _you are a different person._"

She sniffled. "I can do that."

"Good," Tommy said. "Take your time."

--

Jude did just that. For the next month, she did any interview someone asked for. She strongly denied going back to drugs, and she unflinchingly told the story of how she'd gotten addicted, referring to Jamie as 'a friend.'

"Jude, why did your friend let you do this to yourself?" one interviewer asked.

Jude sighed. "He didn't."

"He?" the woman asked. "It wouldn't happen to be Little Tommy Q you're speaking of, would it?"

"He hates that," Jude said absently. "And no, it's not Tommy."

"Well then, who is he?"

"Look, I don't want to bring him into this. For the period that I was on drugs, he was a great friend, and I was a crap friend. He doesn't have any involvement in this really. In fact, on the bus ride home from Manitoba, he made me swear that I'd never touch E again. I broke that promise, and he won't talk to me anymore."

The interviewer paused. "Alright, Jude."

--

In her free time, Jude worked on the song. After two months, she was almost finished.

Her inspiration for the chorus lyrics, the last element of her song, came as she was walking down the hallway at school one morning.

"Stupid girl," someone muttered. Sadie, who was walking next to Jude, knew full well the sting of that insult. She squeezed Jude's shoulder, but Jude ignored it. She spun around.

"Got something to say?" she asked. "They say it. Don't be such a wimp as to say it quietly. Say it to my face, bastard!"

The guy sneered. "Stupid girl," he repeated.

Jude went home with a bloody nose.

He went home with a black eye and a broken nose.

--

"…_goin' the wrong way down a one-way street, where the feeling is criminal, nobody helps me out when I bleed, just a look, look, looking for someone like me, where the feeling is mutual, can anybody see what I see, cause I don't see me._" Jude stopped, waited.

Tommy smiled. "Better?"

Jude let go of a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Yeah."

**Whew, so the heavy stuff's over. For now.**


	10. Chapter 9

Two months later, Jude's album was finished recording. There were twelve tracks on the album, including a remake of _Pick Up The Pieces_, which Jude had performed with Boyz Attack on Music Helps, to the astonishment of both her fans and Tommy's fans_._ Jude had seen Sadie swaying somewhere off camera, and that made Jude happy. Always good to know your sister doesn't hate you.

Georgia had been hoping for a thirteenth track, but they had a deadline, according to EJ. Something about a 'wave of publicity.' So, with Jude's newfound free time, she set to making amends with Jamie.

"Jamie Andrews, I have respected your privacy enough for the past few months to stop calling you, but Jamie, can we at least talk? I know I broke a promise, maybe more, but I have a reason. Not a good reason, but still, a reason, and-" she was cut off by the phone picking up.

"Hi, Jude," Jamie said quietly.

"Jamie! Oh my god, Jamie, _please _don't hang up, I-"

"Let's talk in person Jude. I can be over in, like, five seconds."

"Okay."

--

Jude opened the door and saw Jamie on her doorstep, holding a very familiar strung guitar pick. "I think this belongs to you."

Jude hugged him. "Jamie, you forgive me, right? I was an idiot, a very depressed idiot."

"I forgive you Jude. And I'm sorry I took this back."

"You had every right," Jude said. She let go of him and ushered him inside.

"You don't have to explain Jude. It's got to be pretty damn personal if you did what you did."

"But I want to explain, Jamie, even if it makes you think less of me." Jamie sighed and leaned further into the couch.

"Begin."

"So, basically, there was this guy, and, well… _stuff _happened. I got really confused, and he did too, and I didn't know how to feel, and… I guess I just ran away from it all." Jude bit her lip. "So, yeah, and now I'm still confused."

Jamie examined her face. Jude was relieved to see sympathy instead of disgust on his face.

"Did you avoid talking about the, um, _stuff_, with him?"

"Yeah."

Jamie bit his lip. "Then I'd say you cared about him, a lot."

Jude thought. "Yeah, I think you're right, Jamie."

--

The next day, Jude sought out Vincent Speiderman in the cafeteria.

"Um, Vincent?"

"It's Speid," he corrected absently. He turned to Jude, and his eyes widened. "Jude Harrison?"

"Yeah. I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Um, yeah, sure." He swallowed. "What?"

"Well, I heard that you've got a band, SME I think…"

--

Jude barged into G Major and again received stares, but this time, they weren't of disgust or pity or empathy. They were all curious of the three boys who trailed behind her, instrument cases in hand.

"This way, boys," she called, gesturing towards Studio A, where Tommy was mixing her album.

She opened the door and walked up to Tommy. "Out, DuTois. We'll call you in later."

"Jude, I'm mixing your album. It's due in a week."

"_Out,_ Tommy. You'll see later, just _go._" He stared at her a second before relenting.

"Fine." He got up and walked out.

"Okay, Speid, I've got the chords, but feel free to edit them, and Kyle, I know _vaguely _what I want to do for the drum beat…"

--

"Tommy!" Jude called a couple hours later, stepping into the lobby. He turned his head. "Come on, let's get moving!"

He stood up, grumbling. "Most stubborn girl on the planet, never knows how to say please…"

"_Tommy!_"

--

"So, Jude," Tommy said, turning to her while Wally did what was sounding like his last take. "Am I going to get to hear the lyrics soon?"

"Shove it, DuTois, you'll get 'em when Wally's done."

When Wally finished, Tommy hoisted Jude up and carried her into the booth, amongst her squealing protests. He planted her in front of the mike, and went back to the mixing board. "Untitled, in three, two, one…"

She took a deep breath and waited for her cue. "_You never lied to me not once, it's not your fault that I can't trust, it's not your fault that I can't trust, it's in my past, it's in my path and I can go there,…_"

Tommy swallowed. This was clearly her telling him what she had decided.

"…_making a mess out of this game, to see it all go up in flames, so tired of being ruthless and reckless,…"_

Yep, they'd been pretty reckless. They'd botched this up pretty bad. _But how does Jude feel?_

"…_time to be your only one, to almost be your way too young, time to crash into the sun, time to be your twenty one,…_"

_Oh, _he thought.

"…_time to dream that love will last, time to drive my car too fast, time to walk before I run, time to be, ohh, time to be your twenty one…"_

--

Speid, sensing that their new friend and her producer were going to need some alone time, had silently ushered Wally, Kyle and himself out of the room.

He found he was right.

As soon as Jude finished singing, Tommy had walked into the booth, and hadn't bothered to stop the tape. Speid was going to have to steal that recording later.

--

"Jude-" Tommy started.

"Tommy, I told you how I feel. Now you've got to tell me how _you _feel." Tommy bit his lip, and she laughed bitterly. "Just say it Tommy. 'Oh, Jude, you know you're my best friend, but it was just a mistake.' Just a mistake, Tommy! Don't lie!"

"Jude, it _was _a mistake, but not for the reason you think," Tommy said quietly. He sat down next to her on the floor.

"Oh no, Tommy, I know _exactly _why. 'We're just _friends_, and we mistook the _anxiety_ we were feeling for _genuine passion_.' But Tommy, I know I didn't make a mistake."

"Jude, that wasn't the mistake. The mistake was doing this when you were so young." He took a deep breath. "I definitely like you in a more-than-friendly way, Jude, and my feelings are at least as deep as yours, but I don't know how much further they go. But Jude… you were _fifteen._ I'm _seven-and-a-half _years older than you."

"I know." Jude sighed. "I know. But my heart won't shut up, Tommy. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, as always, you've got options. The easiest would be to fire me and shut me out of your life-"

"Not an option," Jude said.

"You could also, just, restrain yourself. I'd restrain myself, too, of course."

"Next."

Tommy took a deep breath. "Or, you and I could keep another secret."

Jude bit her lip, and then smiled. "I'm good with secrets."

"Me too," Tommy said.

--

Jude came out smiling broadly.

"Where's Quincy?" Speid asked.

"Mixing," Jude practically sang.

"Cool," Speid said. He turned to leave.

"Hey Speid, wait up!"

"Yeah?"

"I've got one more favor to ask. You guys have already done so much for me, but-"

"Out with it, Harrison."

"Do you think you could be my backup band full time?"

Speid thought before grinning. "I think I might be able to con Wally and Kyle into that."

--

**OH MY GOD, IT'S THE END! OH NO!**

**Fear not, my friends, for there will be a sequel, if you request it!**

**Come on, you **_**know **_**you want to see AU season 2. You **_**know **_**you love me-**

**Ahem, sorry, that was my evil/cocky twin. But seriously, if you guys want a sequel, I've got one in me.**

**Cheers,  
breezy**


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